It’s so quiet in our small house right now. Everyone is long asleep and I’ve been left to ponder a few things…
In the past few weeks Nathan and I have been discussing social media and the part we want it to play in our lives etc, especially in the realm of facebook. We both watched a short video regarding how much privacy has changed with it and how the company is getting sneakier and sneakier with acquiring our information. For those reasons we’ve decided to re-evaluate our place on facebook and such. We aren’t yet ready to write it off completely or swear we’ll never be back but rather take some time to see how life now a days might look without it both within our relationships with others and with our time day to day. This is a personal choice and in no way reflects how we think others should think about it but more so how we need to approach it for ourselves.
Kind of like if alcohol is a problem for you don’t drink it, if it’s not a problem go ahead and enjoy. Everyone has the responsibility to assess what their life needs and to act in it’s best interest.
How does this decision affect (seriously I’ll never know if I’m using that word correctly or not) this blog? Well it doesn’t but then again it does.
As I’ve returned many times since the arrival of our little one saying how much I want to write blah blah blah yet rarely stay for long, I’ve come to realize that the fear a certain social service agency has placed in me that has made it nearly impossible to write from my heart. And if I cannot write from my heart here, I cannot write … here.
I recently met with someone that was collecting hours towards her life coach certification, I volunteered to be a guinea pig. The main thing that came out of our first meeting together was that I needed to write, that writing (though mine could use some serious editing) is a great outlet for me. Writing could potentially improve so many areas of my life. Writing could release perhaps a gift or two to the universe while healing my own wounds. I miss it so much. And during a time in my life when my value as a human is questionable (to myself that is), when my body often is a liability, when my future seems overwhelmingly … overwhelming, I need to be able to do something that helps me release my thoughts and feelings as well as hopefully touch others experiencing similar ones, even if through entirely different circumstances. That’s what I got from writing before and I selfishly desire that again.
My hope is that by saying good bye to the blog chapter called: ‘Make Your Own Awesome’ I might be able to make room for something hopefully just as great (or who knows, maybe greater). I also want people following our story of adoption, which by the way is still very much in process, to be able to hear able what happens. By creating a new space with less obvious clues to who we are (really mostly just our names) and not giving it to a certain social service agency who mean well but can drive one to near insanity, I can continue to connect to you, and perhaps some family friends and others that may stumble upon it.
Though it has been a long while since I’ve written here on a daily basis those days that I did were such an incredible blessing to me. Hearing from you, whether through email or face to face or on the phone, that something I wrote touched your heart at just the right time made me feel that it wasn’t just a blog but that maybe just maybe Someone greater than myself was using me to reach you. I want that again. In my flawed, unedited, imperfect ways.
So thank you for coming along. Thank you for the chapter called ‘Make Your Own Awesome’. Thank you for reading, commenting, writing, and listening with your heart. I hope you will come along for the next chapter as well.
Through my diagnosis of MS and it’s unexpected too quick (in my opinion) progression (little bastard – sorry but it’s true), through the incredibly bumpy, drawn out and, might I add, terrifying ride of the adoption process, along with just crazy everyday life, I have learned that you have no choice but to make your own awesome, or at least try. Because … this is our only go around in this life (as far as any of us know) and we might as well make the best of things.
On to the next exciting chapter …. :)
Blessings and thank you so so much,
**If you are interested in following my new blog I can email you the link once it gets up and running just send me a message at firstname.lastname@example.org I will not be advertising it too far around aside from a one time shot on facebook on my personal page.**